


I'm taking it all for us.

by SpookyFaces



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cocaine, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Euphoria, Everything Hurts, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Relationship Problems, and slightly inspired by Skins, basically everything you can find in Euphoria, inspired by Euphoria, larry - Freeform, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2020-09-07 22:15:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20316874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyFaces/pseuds/SpookyFaces
Summary: Anger issues, sexual insecurities, smashing parties, drug overdoses, too much nicotine and not enough words shared. What else did the creator of the world expect from bunch of sad, exhausted and unstable human beings? Or maybe it all came from the simple big bang somewhere in the cosmos. What an unfortunate bang it must have been, if it created such a chaos.an Euphoria au, in which Zayn survives the days. Nights - not so much. Liam runs from his problems, and the whole world in general. Harry sells drugs and saves his friends' lives. Louis loves, but never fight for it. Niall shares his bed with everyone, but doesn't dare to share his soul.





	1. Z

**Author's Note:**

> heavily inspired by Euphoria, because that show messed up my existence. every chapter will have a different main character, but it all sums up one whole story.
> 
> TW  
PLEASE BE SAFE WITH DRUGS AND ALCOHOL! this story is gonna be filled with dark themes, read at your own caution. please, please stay safe.  
i do not encourage any kind of behavior that is shown in this story.

There are moments in life that decide your faith instantly. First kiss, near-death experience, overdose, head-spinning sex or maybe even a huge, smashing party. Unfortunately, not everyone gets to experience that moment. And, for some poor bastards, that moment lasts a whole lifetime. For instance, imagine this:

You' are a teenager in a not-very-stable family. There are hopes and expectations laid upon you. Weight of your mother's hopeful eyes, your sisters' smiley faces that flash with every small achievement, your deceased father's last wishes - it all lays on you. Why? Who knows. Maybe because you are the only son in the family. Maybe because you are the firstborn child. Maybe because faith decided to play a joke on you - it doesn't matter. What matters is the way your life gets wrapped up in the big, magical blanket of expectations. And how you try to crawl out of it, day by day. And how you fail.

Then, one day, somewhere between the drunk smirks and neon lights swirling around the darkened room - you find a relief. And it doesn't come in the form of needle or a pill. It comes in a form of sugary-white powder, that looks like everything you have ever wished, but never dared to ask for. It comes poured on a coffee table, with _ Redbone _ playing in the background. It comes with a raised brow from the guy you know from town, and a question hanging in there: _"You want some?" _ You want some release? You want some freedom? You want an euphoria flowing through your veins? Here it is. Take it. You don't have to roll 100 bucks to inhale it, you can simply pinch your nose from one side and snort with the other nostril. So you follow the instructions, like a lost puppy. You do exactly es they tell you. And that is how you start to ruining everything around you - piece by piece.

First comes the promised euphoria. It is a feeling that nothing ever can top. It is like dozens of orgasms striking your brain all at once, sending your body into the outer-world trance. The colors become more vibrant, music becomes richer, your thoughts get materialized, you feel every inch of your body shivering from the burning flame in your soul. You can fly, you can reach out and touch the stars, fill up your lungs with clean air. You are alive and you know you deserve to feel it. This is what you have been looking for. This is what you've craved for the last 18 years.

You love everyone. You love the guy you know from town, the one who gave you _ the powder. _ You love your blue-eyed friend, who is staring at you with wide eyes from the other side of the room. You love the girls from your class, the ones that you have always hated and the ones who only wanted to get you in bed. You love your Irish neighbor, who is kissing three girls, all at once. You love the brown-eyed boy with a buzzcut, even though you have never seen him before. And more importantly - you love yourself. Finally.

_ And then, suddenly, it ends. _

___

"Zayn."

Someone nudges his shoulder painfully. The fog and darkness is still covering his mind and all he manages to do is do _ nothing. _ He wants to leave his body on the floor (or wherever the hell he is laying at the moment) and let his soul wonder into the cosmos. Anywhere, but here. 

"Zayn, come on, mate."

He is rolled on his back, but his eyes don't dare to disconnect. He isn't sure he is capable of tearing his eyelids open and facing the world once again. Not with this ache in his body, not with this piercing pain in his head. Do you know what drug induced hangover is ten times worse than the one you get after drinking tons of alcohol? Here are a few things that happen to your body when it comes down from cocaine-high:

1\. You want to sleep. No, you _ need _ to sleep. Anywhere, anytime - you have to sleep. You feel that you have to, you know you do.  
2\. You can't sleep. _ Shit. _  
3\. Your head hurts. Maybe from cocaine, maybe from shots that followed, maybe from the weight of the world.  
4\. Your nose bleeds. Not always, but quite often.  
5\. Your brain becomes too slow to function normally.  
6\. You need to get hight. Again. Always.

"For fuck's sa-_Zayn!_"

The slap is placed on his cheek and-_okay, ouch?_ Zayn finally manages to open his eyes and blink the constant blur away. Piercing blue eyes are glaring down at him, disappointment, anger and exhaustion - all mixed in one simple look. Louis Tomlinson and his famous heavy looks.

"Finally. Thought you've died or something." - Louis hisses. He clutches Zayn's shoulders and drags him up into the sitting position. The world spins for a moment, before Zayn adjusts to the new position and comes to his senses. Unconsciously, he runs a hand through his hair and-_is that pop-corn?!_

"That's Niall's." - Louis explains, probably because he notices Zayn's confused stare. "How much did you snort last night? Thought we split the share?! Anyways, get up, you can't stay here, mate. It's almost 6 a.m. Whoever's this house is said their parents will be home soon."

Zayn frowns. He doesn't want to leave, he can't leave. He won't be able to.

"I'll help you up." - Louis says, as if he reads his mind. Gently, he slides his hands around Zayn's waist and pulls him up. Zayn stumbles on his own feet, but Louis, kind, angelic Louis, wraps over his shoulders and keeps him upright. "Let's go. We need to get ready for school, you can't miss another week."

"_D'n't wan'na-_"

"Shut up." - Louis says, his voice too soft and quiet. "I've got you."

Yeah, Louis has got him. Zayn closes his eyes and leans in his friend's touch. _ He's got him. _

___

A year ago - Zayn was introduced to cocaine. Two of them instantly clicked and became best friends for a few months. 7, to be more exact. Then, after 7 months and 12 days - Zayn overdosed and died. _ Oops. _

He was found by one of his three sisters, laying on the bathroom floor - completely and utterly out of it. His mother had to keep his heart beating manually, pressing on his chest 271 times, breathing into his mouth 47 times, before ambulance came. He woke up after 5 hours of coma, connected to 2 tubes and 4 wires. In the next 2 days he experienced 3 panic attacks in that hospital room, one of them ended with hight dosage of sedatives. 

Fuck these numbers.

Zayn, while still being a teenager, ended up with two months of necessary psychotherapy and rehabilitation meetings once in a week, because his area didn't have a rehabilitation center for teenagers and young adults. Sykes. His mother never forgave him. Everyone in school stared at him, as if he was the only person in this facility that snorts the white powder. He is the only one that messed up with measurements - that's it. Drug overdose should be the wake-up call to change your life, once and forever. For Zayn, it resulted the same things that happened before - he still dials Harry Styles' number every Wednesday and Friday and buys cocaine for a special price.

Louis literally drops him on his bed and that manages to startle Zayn out of his slumber. He sits up and looks around his room, as if it's the first time he's ever been here.

"You're lucky Tricia already left for work. I told her you're staying over at mine." - Louis mumbles as he starts picking up clothes from the floor. "You've got 10 minutes to shower and get dressed. Here."

A hoodie smacks Zayn in the face. He sighs and clutches it with his fingers. He stares down at it and feels the way his heart misses a drop. It's deep, red hoodie. nothing special, if you look at it. But not for Zayn. He pulls the hoodie closer to him in deeply inhales the already faded smell of a familiar cologne. His brows scrunch from realization that the smell is completely gone now - replaced with rose-scented laundry detergent. His insides stop working for a moment. The bed dips beside him and a warm hand touches the skin on his forearm.

"Babe." - Louis breathes. Zayn opens sees in Louis' eyes that he understands. He sees it. "It's been almost two years, Zayn. It won't smell the same."

_ Of course, it won't._ The smell has gone for months. Still, even after all this time, Zayn's chest heaves with an escaped sob. Instantly, Louis pulls him in tightly, wrapping his arms around Zayn's shaking frame.

"Shh, you're fine, Zayn."

"I'm sorry." - Is all Zayn manages to sob. _ I'm a mess. I'm a disgrace. I'm empty. I'm sorry. _

Louis lets him sob for a while, then pulls away slightly and cups his face, wiping away the tears from his cheeks. 

"You're okay. You'll be fine. Just get dressed and let's go to school, yeah? The world has ended too many times at this point for us to care."

Zayn nods, sniffing quietly. He wraps himself in the hoodie and zips it up. He's fine. This has happened before. It will happen again. He is okay.

____

Zayn always wondered how the world managed to end for some people, but they still went to school - no matter what. Until he had to do the same. He has walked down these halls, destroyed, high, exhausted or dead inside too many times now. He learned how to turn out the whole world around him and listen to this fucked up voice inside his head instead. And Louis. Always Louis.

He eyes the group of girls standing near the lockers, some of them sending seducing looks towards him. Zayn wants to chuckle and he would, honestly, if he had enough energy. _ None of you want this mess _ he thinks. _None of you deserve it._

The girl in the center is Sophia Smith. God forbid anyone cross her path towards the success. The daughter of the mayor, every-year beauty queen of the school, A-grade student. Addicted to heroin since ninth grade. _ Tragic. _

On her left stands the beloved Eleanor Calder. Louis' first and only female lover. Always looking chic and elegant. Head held high and posture straight as a ruler. Her mother is the owner of the school, her father - millionaire-businessman. Last year, someone leaked the video of her sucking dick in football locker room. The dicks of the whole football team. Zayn doesn't think it's wrong or something to be ashamed of - dicks are beautiful. Eleanor, on the other hand, will kill anyone who dares to utter a word about the incident. _ Tragic. _

Oh, the blondes beside Eleanor are the famous saint-girls - Gigi and Bella Hadids. The only thing they are missing is the halo over their heads. Or, at least, that's what their family thinks. Instead, both of them are frequent visitors of our dear Harry magic-land Styles and his magic powders. 

Speaking of devil. 

Harry Styles strides down the hallway with his usual lazy smirk and glistening eyes. He stands in front of Louis, looking down at the boy and eating him alive with his eyes. Zayn almost stumbles at him.

"Guten morgen, amigos." - Harry drawls.

"Hi, Harry." - Louis mumbles, eyes glued to the floor with his cheeks slightly reddened. Zayn mentally rolls his eyes. Harry chooses that moment to remember about him and gives Zayn a strange look, as if he's asking "_you're still alive after last night?_"

"Zayn, hey. Glad you're okay." - He says instead. Zayn shrugs in response. "Payne has been worrying his mind away. You know how he gets with you."

_Ah. _

How could Zayn forget about one of the main protagonists of his life - Liam Payne. 

Liam came into Zayn's life the exact day that cocaine did. If cocaine rocked and destroyed Zayn's already shitty life - Liam somehow glued the left pieces together, creating something horrible, but worth living for. Liam is everything you can ask for in a human being. Caring, gentle, cute, funny, handsome, sexy. Liam has been the anchor for Zayn many times before. Other than him and Louis - Zayn has nothing to hold on for. Maybe his mother and sisters. Maybe not.

Liam is familiar with dirty habits of the city. He knows Zayn's secrets, everyone does. But he never judges. Everyone gets high once in a while - even Louis fucking Tomlinson does (every week, at least twice). But never Liam. Instead - he keeps you safe and sound during your highs and comedowns. He stays beside and gives you water and bucket to puke in. He holds your hand, or your life, depending on a day. He pulls you in and lets you weep into his chest. Liam Payne is everything Zayn never deserved to have. But he has Liam and he always will.

"Payno should relax." - Louis mumbles. "And have some fun instead."

"Or maybe you two should keep away from my product for a while." - Harry shrugs a shoulder.

"Well, maybe we should stop buying your shit all together, so you get all poor and hungry, huh?" - Louis hisses at the curly boy. Harry's brows knit together from annoyance.

"Fuck off." - He snaps. "You two barely make a week without running to my house, asking for more. The whole school depends on my stash."

"Shove that stash up your-"

"Oi, oi! Tomlinson!" - The loud voice rings though the hallway, cutting Louis off. "Language, mate!"

Zayn's eyes wonder up and yeah-here he is. Liam Payne in all of his beauty and glory. He is wearing sweatpants and hoodie, rocking that athlete/model look, as always. Zayn feels like shit instantly. He must look horrible with his huge hoodie and ripped black jeans. Liam approaches them. His gazes softens the second he meets Zayn's eyes.

"Hey." - He whispers. Zayn lifts his fingers in an awkward way of waving a hello at him. "You okay? Where did you disappear last night? I got worried, thought you-"

"Calm down, muscles." - Louis cuts him off. "He passed out on the floor in Nialler's kitchen."

_ So it was Niall's house. That's why he recognized the vase in the corner. _ Liam's eyes grow wide instantly. Worry and concern fill up his gaze.

"What? How-Are you okay? How much did you-"

"Same as usual." - Zayn answers calmly. "Didn't die. I'm fine."

"Oh."- Liam breathes. He gulps, while staring at Zayn and it makes him feel awkward and strange. Liam should stop looking at him, like he's broken and needs to be fixed. He doesn't need to. He can't be fixed.

"We need to get to class." - Harry announces. "Yo, you three coming to Ashton's cabin this weekend? I'll get some special stuff. It's gonna be lit."

"Yeah, yeah, Curly. Count us in." - Louis rolls his eyes while he drags Zayn towards the class. "We'll be there!"

_ Nice. _ Another day - another height to crawl up. Zayn tugs a hood over his messy hair and follows Louis, ignoring Liam's concerned gaze.


	2. H

There are certain rules if you decide to sell drugs. 

1\. Never sell your product to someone with no mutual friends. _ Never. _  
2\. Heavy stuff is strictly 17+, including cocaine and heroin in any form.  
3\. You don't make discounts. People from above do. Providers, cooks, double-dealers. You ask for special price for special people - they agree. Or they don't.  
4\. Don't involve your close friends. Don't ever do it. 

Harry managed to break the fourth rule a year ago. Back then, he didn't know Zayn or Louis would end up being his friends (or more). He simply hooked them up on his product, simply for spreading his business area and getting some cash. He noticed Zayn's lost eyes in the crowd at the party and instantly saw a customer in him. So he gave the boy the best stuff he had. _ A big mistake. _

Don't get him wrong, Harry doesn't complain about additional cash he gets from Zayn every week. His bosses are happy about the constant income - there's nothing wrong with money. On ethical level, though - Harry is a shitty friend. Maybe it's not his fault completely. Zayn is known for taking things too far. He doesn't stop, no matter what happens, no matter how ruined his life appears - he continues to ask for more and more. And Harry continues to give. He tried to cut him off - it didn't work.

Harry Styles wasn't a born drug-dealer. His family was not a part of the cartel or in any kind of connection with drug business. But, Harry Styles was a lost soul. And if someone finds a way to deal with life with the help of taking drugs - Harry found his coping mechanism in selling the actual shit. And sometimes it works. Other times - not so much. 

Harry met Louis when Zayn came for additional stuff on the second day after their meeting. The boy looked stiff and tense beside Zayn, eyeing Harry with a gaze full of suspicion. His ultra-blue eyes sent needles in Harry's frozen heart. Harry fell down on his knees (mentally) and decided to love Louis Tomlinson with his whole heart. Louis won't ever know it, though. Harry's life is too complicated to get involved with someone seriously, especially with someone like Louis. He would drown the boy, no doubt. 

This whole town depends on Harry's stash. His whole school appears to be his clients and he doesn't complain. But, there are a few down-sides of that. For example, when he sells the same shit for different prices to two separate groups - it causes trouble. When he lies to someone about running out of drugs, while selling it to somebody else, eventually - everyone finds out. And it doesn't end well. And the whole town blames him for their drug-addiction - but it's a different story. Harry doesn't really care about morals that much. Not anymore. Not since one of his best friends overdosed on his product and then, after a week, asked for more. Not when Zayn died and then came back only for more drugs - and got them from Harry himself.

He drags on the joint, eyes closed and thoughts blurred. The [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0XQb_Q-u5ol) around him sends his already high-functioning brain into the whole other diversion. Neon lights bolt from one spot to another - doing completely nothing in lighting the darkened room. Instead, it only spins everyones' head even more. Harry leans back on the couch and exhales the white smoke above his head. It curls around the edges and crawls upwards, towards the roof of the cabin. 

Ashton Irwin's family is richer than God himself. It comes in hand when there are no houses left for hosting parties. The host himself is outside, his feet currently dangling from the roof of the cabin while holding hands some girl he won't remember tomorrow. Probably because of all the LSD he bought from Harry before the party. Harry's eyes wonder around, stopping on one special silhouette, sitting on the floor in the furthest corner. Louis has his eyes closed, his head rests on Zayn's shoulder, who looks completely out of his mind. _ What's new. _ Harry drags himself up on his feet and strides towards Louis. He tries not to push anyone on his way, but somehow manages to make Sophia Smith stumble on her own feet as he passes her. _ Oops. _ Louis doesn't even look up at him as Harry flops down beside the boy. Louis simply continues to stare ahead, eyes glazed and stone-cold.

"Lou." - Harry nudges the boy's shoulder with his own. "What's up?"

Louis blinks and finally turns his head to look at Harry. 

"Shouldn't mix coke with vodka." - He mumbles. "My mistake."

Harry chuckles and shrugs.

"Not your fault. We've all been there."

"Have you, Harry?" - Louis asks suddenly, his voice barely overlapping the loud music around them. "Have you ever tried anything heavier than weed?"

_ No. _ Harry isn't stupid, he won't step into his own webs. He has never tried any of his product, other than weed. Nobody knew that. Apparently, except Louis. 

"I-I don't really-I mean-"

"Huh." - Louis looks away, going back to staring at the same spot he was looking at before. "Clever bastard."

Harry gulps, unable to find his own voice. 

"Harry Styles is more clever than half of this fuckin' town. Who knew." - Zayn adds from beside Louis and Harry almost forgot he was here. Sometimes he wishes he could strangle Zayn Malik with his bare hands. Other times - he wishes he could save him.

"You mixed coke and vodka as well?" - He asks instead of going for the boy's throat.

"Nah." - Zayn shakes his head slowly. "Just cocaine and my depression meds."

"Zayn,-" 

"Why the fuck would you do that?!" - Louis and Harry protest at the same time. 

"Relax for fuck's sake." - Zayn whines. "You're hurting my head."

"We aren't hurting your head, Malik. Chemicals in your brain are going nuts right now - _ that _ causes pain in that empty head of yours." - Harry snaps. 

"Unbelievable." - Louis shakes his head. "You really are that reckless, huh? You want to die? _ Again?! _"

_ Ouch. _ That was definitely out of line. But needed, probably. None of them say anything for at least a minute after that. Then, Zayn crawls up to his feet, ignoring Louis' weak protests and tumbles a little, trying to stay upwards. He turns around to face Harry and Louis with an emotionless expression.

"Fuck both of you." - He drawls before turning around and disappearing into the crowd.

"Fuckin' hell." - Louis hisses and runs a hand over his face. "Prick."

"Hey, don't worry." - Harry tries to lighten the mood. "You know how he gets, he'll be fine. He won't even remember this tomorrow."

Louis' eyes snap at him with an annoyed look. 

"That's the point, Styles. He won't. He won't remember _ anything. _ He never fucking does." 

Louis stands up as well, leaving Harry alone at the spot.

"Lou, come on, I didn't-"

"Whatever." - The boy throws at him before shuffling away. 

Sometimes Harry wishes he would disappear. Other times he wishes he didn't exist. Basically, Harry wishes he had never been born. He would avoid problems and situations like this. Too bad he can't change that. 

With his peripheral vision he spots Zayn, somehow looking even more destroyed than before, leaning on the wall and talking (trying to talk) with Liam, whose eyes are full of concern and worry. Harry feels sorry for Liam. His heart aches for the boy and his puppy eyes that follow Zayn everywhere. Liam reaches a hand forward, his fingers curling around Zayn's famous hoodie (Harry can guess who it belonged to). Zayn takes a step forward, standing two or three inches away from Liam. _ Too close. _ Just as Liam leans forward, Harry averts his gaze and stares ahead. Not his place, not his business. 

Later that night, when he hears a loud bang on his front door followed by cussing, he ignores the sound as much as he can. He ignores Zayn's shouts for his name. He ignores curses and cries.

_"Come on! Open the fuckin' door, yeah?!" _ \- Zayn yells after probably an hour of banging. _"I know you can hear me! I need some coke, I-I have money!" _

Harry puts a pillow on his head, blocking his ears.

_"Harry! Open the-You fuckin' owe me, mate! you dragged me into this!" _ \- Zayn's yells grow into heart-breaking sobs. _"Open the fucking door, please?"_

Harry drags a blanket over his head. 

_"Open the door, you fucking moron! You make your living by selling drugs to teenagers and now you wanna have a fuckin' moral ground?! Fuck you! You think you're doing this because you care about me? If you did - you wouldn't sell fucking drugs to me! So open this fucking door!" _ \- Zayn sobs hysterically, banging fists on Harry's metallic door. 

Harry closes his eyes, trying to block out the sound. 

_"Open the door! Open the fucking door! You did this to me! The least you can do - is open the damn door!" _

Harry lets out a shaky breath. 

_"If you don't open the door - I swear, I will hate you 'till the day I die." _ \- He hears a quiet whimper, barely reaching his hearing. But it does. And it shatters Harry from head to toes. He sits up in his bed and tugs at his curls, trying to stop the flow of tears escaping his eyes. 

Zayn leaves. 

Harry doesn't sleep that night. 


	3. L

** 2:28 A.M.  
Ashton Irwin's family cabin **

_ "-even just the bass lines in both songs are completely different, both giving the unrepeatable beat and sound to the songs. Led Zeppelin specifically used-" _

Liam sips his drink from the red solo cup and leans back on the wall. Neon lights dart around the dimly lit room, making it impossible to see anything or anyone. Somehow, Liam always manages to spot and stare at one silhouette, even through the darkness and fog of disappearing sobriety. Thin arms are thrown in the air, body moving slowly in rhyme of the music. Sharp cheekbones are decorated with smudged silver-colored glitter, shining like a bright star on top of the sky. Long hoodie is hanging on lanky shoulders, dark hair flowing around the beautifully symmetrical face. There are no poetical words enough to describe the beauty of Zayn Malik. Not for Liam, at least. 

He notices the way Zayn stumbles around, the way his gaze gets lost once in a while, so his mind decides his actions for him - he needs to check on him. That, if he ever escapes Calum Hood's grip and his monotone voice talking about bass lines in famous rock songs. Why did he even start talking to Liam in the first place? They have never been anything even close to friends. Still, Hood has his eyes almost closed as he waves his hands passionately while talking, looking like he isn't planning to stop yet. Or ever. Liam lands his hand on the boy's shoulder to get his attention and snap him out of his talking-trance. 

"I'm gonna go get some more drinks, yeah?" - he waves the cup in his face. The boy stares at Liam for a moment, then shrugs and walks away. He taps someone standing closest to him - it turns out to be poor Niall Horan - and continues his monolog, now sharing his thoughts with confused Niall, whose hand is still curled around some long-haired blondie. 

Liam uses his chance to escape the grip of rock n' roll educating system provided by Calum and walks towards the center of the room, only to notice that Zayn isn't in his previous spot. He panics for a moment, but then spots the boy in the far corner, sitting on the floor with his partner in crime - Louis Tomlinson. Just as Liam takes a few steps towards the couple, Harry fucking Styles flops down beside Louis and Liam can't stop himself from rolling his eyes. 

Don't get him wrong, he loves Harry. He is probably one of few people in this school Liam considers as his friend. The boy himself is calm as summer breeze. Always soft around the edges, smiley with his dimples and glistening green eyes. But there is another side of him Liam hates with his guts - Harry Styles and his drugs are the cancer of this town. Liam doesn't completely blame Harry for anyone's (Zayn's) addiction. He might have been a trigger, a match to set the fire. But Zayn had been the lighting spark all along. Despite that, Liam always feels uneasy whenever Harry approaches Zayn or Louis. Because giving drugs to Louis equals to giving drugs to Zayn. They are two parts of one whole drug addicted teenager. If Harry is a match and Zayn is the spark - Louis Tomlinson, with his piercing blue eyes and raspy voice is definitely a can of gasoline. Zayn is rarely seen without Louis, Louis is rarely seen without Harry, Harry is rarely seen without drugs - it creates a perfectly tragic loop.

Liam walks to the other side of the room, deciding against joining the three of them. But he doesn't have to stand alone for too long, before after a moment Zayn stands up clumsily on his feet and quickly leaves the spot, ignoring Louis' obvious protests. Liam wonders what happened between them, but he doesn't dare to approach Louis. Instead, he settles for following Zayn like a puppy while still clutching the red cup with his fingers. Zayn pushes through the wave of crowd, passing everyone on his way and not once stopping to respond to greetings or stares (because who wouldn't stare at beautiful boy with glitter on his face?). Liam tries to catch up with him, while pushing through people, not as gracefully as Zayn. 

He manages to catch the boy by his arm before he disappears from his sight and pushes his cup into someone's hands beside him, ignoring followed whines. Zayn swirls around and Liam nearly bumps into him, but manages to prevent the accident by curling his arms around Zayn's waist and regaining his balance. He glances up and realizes Zayn's face is inches away from him.

"Shit." -He gasps instantly, as Zayn blinks up at him with his glazed eyes. "Hey. Um, you-are you okay?"

"Liam." - Zayn says his name, as if he is trying it on his tongue. "Saw you lookin' at me, you know?"

Liam gulps, his breath gets caught in his lungs. 

"You always look at me. For me. Everywhere." - Zayn adds. "Why?"

"I-Um,-" - Liam stumbles on his words. The small smudge of glitter on Zayn's chin catches his eyes and before he can properly think this through - he reaches his hand and gently runs a finger over Zayn's carved jaw. "You've got something-"

Zayn leans in touch instantly and the sight cuts Liam's words off. The boy stares up at him with big doe eyes and shrugs.

"Wanted to be shiny and bright for a night." 

"You're always bright." - Liam replies automatically. He feels the blush crawling up his neck towards cheeks. "Sorry."

"Don't." - Zayn shakes his head softly. "I like when you talk like that."

Zayn tilts his head to the side slightly while still staring at Liam. He lifts his hand and places it on top of Liam's. He leans forward, so Liam can hear his inaudible whisper.

"Can you take me home?" - He asks quietly, almost mouthing the words. "I don't feel like being here anymore."

"Of course. Sure, Zayn. Come on" - Liam nods. He gently takes Zayn's hand in his and leads him through the crowd, towards the exit. Zayn follows him silently, still ignoring everything and everyone around him except Liam. And Liam doesn't complain.

He leads Zayn out of the cabin and walks towards his bike parked beside the cabin. Someone throws an empty can of Red Bull at them and it lands near Liam's feet with a loud metallic sound. Zayn whispers a quiet _"fuck"_ as Liam stops and turns around confused.

"Leavin' already?!" - Ashton Irwin yells from the hood of the cabin. He is sitting on the edge, feet dangling in the most unsafe way, while his arm is hooked around Gemma, Harry's sister, whom Liam barely ever sees. He raises his eyebrows, surprised by sudden question, but Ashton, being obviously intoxicated, adds: "Thought we were havin' fun?!"

"You better stay away from the edge, mate!" - Liam calls the boy. "Don't want your parents to find their son in the form of scrambled eggs tomorrow."

Ashton laughs hysterically, throwing his head back and almost falling down from the roof. Gemma rolls her eyes and puts a hand on his chest to somehow secure the boy. Ashton lifts a peace sign at Liam and grins maniacally.

"Have fun, Payne! Make sure Malik doesn't overdose!"

Air gets knocked out of Liam as Ashton's laugh fills up the space once again. He wants to say something, protest, stand up for Zayn, but the boy behind him nudges his shoulder gently and pushes him forward.

"Home, Liam." - Zayn mumbles. "He's high on LSD and Gemma's pheromones."

Liam nods once and approaches his bike. Zayn sits behind him, curling his thin arms around Liam's waist and resting his head on his back. Liam pushes away from the ground and into the darkness of the town.

** 3:02 A.M.  
Paynes' house. **

"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay over tonight?" - Zayn asks, for probably tenth time since they've arrived home. Liam sighs and looks down at Zayn, who is sitting on his bed, looking small and vulnerable and cuddly and everything Liam's heart can't take. Liam's parents have been acting weird about Zayn coming around since his overdose, and Liam knows Zayn sees it. He sees the way Liam's mother tries to hide her weird glances at Zayn, or the way his father avoids boy with every opportunity he gets. Liam sits beside Zayn and puts a hand on the boy's bouncing knee.

"I am sure, Zayn. Nobody's home." - He replies firmly. " And you can stay over whenever you want to, yeah?"

"Even when you're mad at me for asking you to piss in the container for me?" - Zayn scrunches his nose. Liam exhales shakily. Zayn has asked Liam several times to piss in the small can for him, to send it for the check-ups and get the clean result. Liam can't say he enjoyed doing that, he knew he was probably harming Zayn, but Zayn's pleading voice was cracking him every time.

"Yeah, even then." - He shrugs. "And I'm never mad at you. Just worried, you know."

Zayn's brows knit together.

"You don't need to worry about me. I'm not a child. I can take care of myself." - He protests weakly.

"I know. But sometimes-just sometimes, you get a little bit reckless with you health and well-being. You know what I mean."

"No, I don't know what you mean, Liam." - Zayn snaps and stands up from the bed, trying to calm his nerves. "Tell me more."

"Zayn, I don't want to argue with you." - Liam lifts his palms up in defense. "I'm just saying that sometimes you-you don't know when to stop. You-You do too much, take too much and, you know, it never ends well."

Zayn stares at Liam with eyes full of anger and Liam regrets even bringing up the subject in the first place. He gets up as well and takes a few steps towards Zayn, only for him to back off from Liam.

"I don't want to lose you, Zayn." - He admits quietly. "I'm scared of losing you."

Zayn shakes his head with a disgusted look and points a finger at Liam.

"You need to stop. Everyone around me needs to stop babying me like I'm a lost child! I am capable of taking care of myself, I can make my own decisions!"

"A few months ago you decided to take so many drugs that it stopped you heartbeat." - Liam whispers.

And instantly, he knows he shouldn't have gone there. After a moment of staring at him, Zayn pushes Liam's chest, causing him to stumble back a few steps, enough for Zayn to pull away and storm out of Liam's room in a blink of an eye. Liam stands frozen for a moment, before he snaps out of his trance and runs after Zayn. He runs down the stairs quickly, trying to catch up with the boy.

"Zayn! Wait-I'm sorry! I didn't mean-" - He stops when he reaches Zayn near the front door. Zayn pulls a hood over his head and opens the door. "Where are you going?"

"To Harry's." - Zayn throws back. "Don't you dare to follow me."

"But-"

The door shuts loudly and the sound echoes through the empty house. Liam sits down on the stairs and buries his face in his hands, cussing quietly.

** 5:25 A.M.  
Paynes' house. **

Liam wakes up from the sheets moving underneath him. He opens his eyes and is about to sit up when the bed dips beside him and a warm body presses to his back. Thin arms curl around him, hands pressing close to his chest. Sweet smell of vanilla and cigarettes fills Liam's nostrils. His mind drifts back to sleep.

_" 'm sorry."_ \- He hears a soft whisper as warm lips touch his neck. He can't stop himself from falling back asleep with warmth spreading around him. 

"It's okay." - Liam mouths back. 

"Sleep, babe." - Silky voice hushes him. "I'll be here in the morning."

And, for some reason, Liam believes hm.


	4. N

** 2:39 A.M.  
Ashton Irwin's cabin **

"You think this dress looks cute on me?"

High-pitched voice rings through his ears, overlapping the sound of [brain-rotting music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJO4E_BAJRA) echoing around him. Niall raises a brow and looks at the girl in front of him. Yeah, he know her kind. Cute, pretty, _ sexy _ \- and obviously confident about herself. Any other day - she would be the greatest catch of the night, maybe even for a week. But, for some reason, Niall doesn't feel like talking too much tonight, he only needs to get some action before the clocks strike 6 A.M. and the Monday morning rolls in, with all of its' weight and dullness. The girl in front of him bites down her lip, anticipating for his answer, which obviously needs to be shaped in a form of a compliment. Niall wishes Calum Hood came back from his trip to toilet and started talking about old rock again. _ Anything, _ but the small talk before sex, the one he hates but can never avoid. So, instead of turning around and walking away, he slides a hand around the girl's waist and leans forward, bringing his lips close enough for her to hear his whispering.

"I think you look very sexy, but, to be honest with you, I'd like to see what's underneath that dress." 

The girl giggles annoyingly and grabs his hand, leading him towards the stairs of the cabin. Niall uses this time to look around and examine the left-overs of the party. Somewhere near 3 A.M. all the parties transform into this weird orgy-like situation. Someone very drunk and very uncoordinated stumbles into Niall on his way, spilling the alcohol-reeking drink all over the wooden floor. They mumble a slurred "_sorry_" before stumbling away, now bumping into someone else. Niall spots Louis Tomlinson on the couch, staring up at the chandelier, which actually looks very weird, now that Niall looks at it as well. It's made of glass, looking all chic and glamour - and that doesn't fit in this atmosphere at all. Ashton Irwin's family are too rich for their own good.

The door shuts behind him and Niall realizes he's in one of the guest bedrooms with a previous girl now leading him straight towards the bed. He doesn't complain. He falls down when he pushes his chest, his back meeting the soft material of the ruby-colored duvet. The girl sits on top of him, the tips of her blond hair reaching down and touching Niall's skin. The music comes from downstairs, muffled and distorted. He realizes should probably ask for her name. 

"You're really beautiful." - He says instead. It's not a lie. She _ is _ beautiful. With her big, blue eyes and long blonde hair, button nose and full lips. And don't get him started on her body. The girl melts from the compliment and leans down, her hot breath hits Niall's neck.

"Thank you, Niall." - She whispers and okay, he _ has _ to ask for her name.

"Sorry, I kind of forgot you name." - He chuckles, hoping he doesn't sound like a complete douche. The girl doesn't mind, though. She smiles sweetly in response.

"It's Lottie."

_ The music stops. A sound of a loud crash comes from downstairs. Or, maybe it's Niall's brains falling apart. _

He bolts up, literally pushing the girl out of his lap and stares down at her with wide eyes. _ How could he not notice? It's so obvious! She looks so much like her brother! _ Niall starts backing away until his back meets a solid surface of the door.

"No. Are you kiddin' me? What the fuck?!" - He manages to protest. "You're Tommo's sister!"

"You know Louis?" - The girl gasps. She quickly gets up in her feet and straightens her dress. "Shit."

"Shit indeed!" - Niall yells. "How old are you?! What the fuck?!"

"Oh, relax." - She rolls her eyes while smoothing down her hair. "We're in high school. We're allowed to fuck with each-other."

"Not with out friends' siblings! That's like-That's the red zone!"

"I'm only a year younger than you." - Lottie hisses. "And we all know Ashton sleeps with Styles' sister, so what's the problem?!"

"Okay, you know what? I'm out of here." 

He flies the door open and doesn't even bother to shut it behind him. Instead, he runs downstairs, ignoring the girl's protests. The downstairs looks the same as it did before Niall went to bedroom. It's more fogged, probably. He walks towards the exit door, passing the couch on his way. Louis is still there, staring up at the chandelier.

"Your sister's upstairs!" - Niall yells over the music, doubting his voice reaches Louis. But it does, because Louis tears his gaze off from the chandelier and his clouded eyes stop at Niall. "You should check on her, you know?!"

Louis shrugs in answer. Niall decides he's had enough of weird conversations with Tomlinsons today. He rolls his eyes and turns around, walking towards the door. The cold air hits his face as soon as he steps outside. He cusses and puts hands into the pockets while quickly approaching the sidewalk. He hears a hysterical laughter from somewhere above and ignores it, because he knows it's probably wasted owner of the cabin and his girlfriend on the roof. The night is too cold, the air is too freezing and Niall hates the fact that he has to walk in this weather. Especially after not getting any action. _ Thanks to the universe and the cursed ways that it works. _

** 3:26 A.M. The streets. **

After walking three blocks, he decides to stop at Harry's on his way. He didn't get any sex today, so he might as well buy some good weed for the night. He jogs, passing the familiar houses, while dimly lit street lamps illuminate the way with artificial yellow-ish light. He recognizes the cars, owners of which are sleeping tight in their bedrooms, having no idea their children are getting high and fucked in a cabin downtown. For once, Niall is glad Harry lives alone and doesn't mind late guests and customers.

He is about to turn down the block when he spots a familiar silhouette near Harry's entrance door. Niall stops walking and tries to understand what the hell is going on. He recognizes the black messy hair, glitter-covered face and oversized hoodie. Niall's face scrunches from confusion as he takes a few steps towards the house. Zayn is yelling for Harry to open the door, and the curly boy is obviously ignoring him. Niall knows Harry is always ready to greet his customers and open his doors for them. Apparently, not today and not with Zayn. Zayn even kicks the door with his feet, cusses and screams on top of his lungs - but nothing happens. He stops trying after a while and hangs his head while his shoulders shake uncontrollably. 

"Zayn?" - He calls, hoping not to startle the boy.

Zayn freezes for a moment and then turns around, staring at Niall with red wide eyes. Niall lifts his palms, showing he means no harm and slowly approaches the boy. Zayn is sniffling and shaking and he looks stupidly attractive under the streetlights with the glitter smeared all over his face. Niall always thought he would definitely _ do _ Zayn Malik if he wasn't straight as a ruler. 

"What're you doing?" - Niall dares to ask. Zayn's eyes dart around and he looks pathetically lost and broken. "Are you okay?"

Zayn lets out a humorless chuckle and sniffs. His eyes finally meet Niall and he shakes his head slowly.

"No." - He rasps. He nods towards Harry's house. "The fucker didn't open. Unbelievable."

"He must have his reasons." - Niall shrugs. He stands right in front of Zayn, looking big and rough compared to slouched and shaking Zayn. He doesn't feel good from the sight. "I mean, you probably already had enough."

"Fuck off." - Zayn flips him off before brushing past Niall and stumbling towards the sidewalk. Niall follows him instantly.

"You want me to walk you home?" - He asks. "You don't look too good."

"Thanks." - Zayn mumbles. He glances at Niall and raises a brow. "Neither do you, the fuck happened?"

"Don't remind me. Apparently, we now have to filter the girls from our little siblings, did you know that?! I almost fucked Tomlinson's sister."

Zayn smirks and shakes his head.

"Lottie, huh? Yeah, I've seen a lot of guys running away from her."

"What the fuck, I kept imagining I almost fucked Louis on my way here. Disturbing sight."

"Harry would disagree. Bastard." - Zayn's face falls and Niall decides it's time to talk about something else.

"What were you doing at his house this late anyways?" - He asks, as if he doesn't already know the answer.

"I wanted to get high." - Zayn answers calmly. Niall opens his mouth but Zayn's lifted finger cuts him off. "Don't you dare to start. I'm not the only teenager addicted to drugs in this town."

"You're the only one who took it too far, though." - Niall responds automatically.

Zayn clears his throat, obviously ignoring the pain Niall's words brought him.

"Doesn't matter." - Zayn hisses. "Harry's stuff isn't even that good. I'll find someone else."

"_ Or _ you could go home and sleep it off." - Niall suggests. Zayn stops walking and his swirling gaze orders for Niall to do the same. 

"So everybody's gonna lecture me today. Nice. Go on, then." - Zayn mumbles angrily.

"Not lecturing you. Just sayin'." - Niall defends himself. "You know, I couldn't care less about what you put in your system or what you do with yourself in general."

"Then what's your fucking problem?"

"My problem is that you're crossing the line between entertainment and near-death experiences. You took it way too far and you fucking know it. You ruin lives of everyone around you, I won't believe that you're blind enough not to see it. And when someone shows a glimpse of affection and say that they care - you explode like a fucking bomb. Because you're scared of someone else caring about you. You're scared of dragging someone into the darkness with you. Well, guess what - it's too late for that. You've already dragged your family, your sisters, Harry, Louis and_ Liam._ So take the fuckin' responsibility for what you owe to these people and stop fucking around. Life doesn't have to be _that_ complicated, Zayn."

He stops to finally breathe and suddenly wonders if he took it too far. Wonders if he's stepped into the field he shouldn't have even approached. He dares to look into Zayn's eyes. The boy is staring back at him with glassy eyes and parted lips. Yeah, Niall definitely regrets talking all that shit. _Fuck._

"Look, I'm sorry, I just-" - Niall's words get cut off when Zayn clears his throat and blinks several times. Niall ignores a single tear rolling down the boy's hollowed cheek.

"I gotta go." - Zayn says shakily, eyes never leaving Niall's face. "I gotta-Someone's waiting for me."

"Zayn,-"

"How did I get here? Which way is Liam's house? I-I'm not sure I can find a way." - Zayn asks suddenly with a lost gaze. He looks like a small boy in that moment and Niall's heart aches for him. But the question itself sends relief all over his body because Zayn is going to Liam's. He is going to his safe place, even if he's so high he doesn't remember the way there. Niall smiles softly and points to the right side.

"Down the street, then turn right. It's the second house from there."

Zayn nods after a moment and avoids his eyes.

"Okay." - He says with a small voice. "Yeah. Thank you. Um, bye."

The boy turns around quickly and almost runs down the street. Niall stares at him until Zayn disappears behind the corner. For once, Niall feels proud of himself. He throws a glance at Harry's house and notices the curly boy in the window glass, staring down at him. The corners of his lips tug upwards and he lifts a hand slowly to wave at Niall. 

Niall waves back and finally decides to go home. He can buy the weed tomorrow. _ Or not buy it at all. _


	5. L/L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes, i did steal name of the high school from "breakfast club". ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
****
> 
> if you or people around you suffer from drug addiction, please get immediate help. you are worth fighting for.
> 
> 1-844-289-0879 USA NATIONAL DRUG HELPLINE
> 
> The National Poison Control Center can be reached at 1-800-222-1222 for free, confidential information from experts on poisons including drug and alcohol overdose.
> 
> Helpline number 1-800-487-4889 is available to people with hearing impairment for information on substance abuse 24 hours a day.
> 
> The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be called on 1-800-273-8255 around-the-clock by individuals with suicidal ideation.
> 
> please, stay alive. it's worth it. i promise.

** Louis.  
7:39 A.M.   
Men's bathroom. Shermer High School. **

His sneakers squeak against the dirty floor tiles as he leans forward, highly concentrated on creating a perfectly chopped powder with his credit card. The bathroom stalls are too narrow and uncomfortable in this school, the edge of the toilet is too dirty and unpolished, but it is the safest place in this building, at least no one will barge in. At least, that's what he always thought. But then again - nothing ever goes by Louis' plan. The sound of door opening and shutting loudly startles him and he almost drops the whole stash into the toilet. He cusses quietly and quickly puts the powder back into the small plastic bag and shoves it into his pocket. Lastly, he flushes the toilet, grabs the notebook and opens the bathroom stall. Nothing interesting, just the guy using the school's toilet. That's it. Louis looks up to meet the eyes of an intruder. 

_ Oh, for fuck's sake. _

"I've nearly dropped my stuff down the shitty toilet because of you." - He hisses as the boy in front of him smirks annoyingly and leans back on the wall. 

"I've told you - bathrooms are _ not _ a safe place." - Zayn snarls. "It's arse o'clock in the morning. Why the fuck are you getting shit-faced?"

"Please." - Louis rolls his eyes and pushes past his friend, walking towards the bathroom door. He locks it with an easy motion (_should have done it earlier,_ he notes) and approaches the sinks. "You're the last person to give me shit for doing this."

He fishes out the beloved plastic bag, lets out the powder on the sink and crouches. He feels Zayn nearing him as his shadow falls down on the sink, creating an artificial darkness that covers Louis and drugs. _ How symbolic. _ Louis uses his credit card to divide the line of powder in two and looks up at his friend.

"Bon apetite." - He grins, but before he can lean even further and inhale the drugs, Zayn's grip lands on his shoulder, pulling him back. "What the-"

"It's too early for this shit, Lou." - Zayn shakes his head. "You know you'll get smashed at whatever party we're attending today, so what's the point of _ this? _"

Louis huffs humorlessly and gets up on his feet to look Zayn in the eyes.

"You've got to be shittin' me. _ You're _ telling me to lay off the drugs?!"

"I'm telling you that there must be a reason behind this." - Zayn shrugs. "You never get high in the mornings."

"Piss off." - Louis snaps. 

"Lou." - Zayn presses. He gently tubs circles into Louis' neck with his fingers as his stupid, doe eyes look right into his soul. "You can't fool me, mate."

Louis exhales and shrugs Zayn's hand off. He turns around to look into the mirror, avoiding his friend's gaze. 

"Lottie's been playing on my nerves." - He whispers as anger flows through his veins. "She's-She's so fucking stubborn and reckless, she never thinks about the consequences that follow her stupid decisions."

"Reminds you of someone?" - Zayn rises his eyebrows.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm not gonna let her ruin her life just like I've ruined mine, yeah? I-She and the rest of the girls are _ my _ responsibility, 'cause mom never finds time for her own kids nowadays, what a fucking joke."

Louis breathes out shakily. He just needs to take the edge off, just one snort. It won't harm anyone. _ At least anyone but him. _

"So, yeah,-" - He turns around on his heels and looks at Zayn, who is staring at him as if he's trying to solve a puzzle behind Louis' eyes. "-I need that sniff of the magic powder and _ you _ need to back off."

Zayn blinks at him as Louis waits for his response. But then, suddenly, Zayn's fingers slide down the pocket of his jeans and he picks out the one dollar bill. He holds it between his fingers and nods towards the sink.

"Mind if I go first?"

Louis barks a laugh and shakes his head.

"Knew you would break eventually. Go ahead." - He steps aside and lets Zayn lean down and snort up the line. 

It happens in a second. Zayn inhales the powder into his nostril and with no hesitation, goes to the second line and snorts it up into the other one. He coughs a few times and straightens up, running fingers over his nose and sniffing.

"You prick!" - Louis yells shocked, staring at his friend with wide eyes. "What the-Why the fuck would you do that?!"

Zayn blinks his eyes a few times, obviously having a hard time with inhaling such a big amount of drugs. He looks at Louis then and places a hand on his shoulder.

"You don't need that. You've got a chance to turn your life around without this shit. So, being a nice friend that I am - I'm doing you a favor."

"By taking in my dose, you dick?!" - Louis shouts, his loud voice echoing through the stalls. "I've payed money for that! And you-That's too fucking much, even for your drug-addicted body."

" 'M fine." - Zayn boops Louis' nose with his finger and grins with a crooked smile. "It won't kill me. _ Again. _"

Louis knows Zayn plays a trick of repeating his words from the weekend, but before he can do anything, Zayn's smile falls and he stumbles towards the door. Louis opens his mouth to protest, yell, say anything - but with a quiet click Zayn opens the door and disappears from the bathroom, leaving Louis glued to the floor. _ Stupid, dirty floor tiles. _

___

** Liam.   
8:37 A.M.  
The hallway. Shermer High School. **

"-honestly, if I find Gemma and that fucker Irwin in my bed once again, sucking each-other's faces, or any other body parts, I'll burn my house to the grounds." - Harry's deep voice grumbles behind Liam's back. He shoves his bag into the locker and grabs a few books before shutting it loudly and turning around to face the curly boy.

Harry runs a hand through his hair nervously and sighs.

"I mean, I'm not against healthy sex and all, but not in _ my bed, _ right?!" - He exclaims annoyed. He looks at Liam and rises his eyebrows, confused from the way Liam stares at him. "What?!"

"Did Zayn visit you last night?" - Liam blurts before he can stop himself.

He knows Zayn went to Harry's. But, he also knows, that he returned back to Liam's while being completely sober, with no drugs in his system. He crawled back into Liam's bed and stayed for the night. He woke Liam up with a small kiss on the neck and left without anything else said. And that has been eating Liam's brains away. Zayn went to Harry's, but didn't get high. _ That _ is something new and weird. Liam doesn't complain, though.

"Yeah." - Harry nods. "He came to me. Nearly broke my door down. Has been yelling for what felt like an hour. I didn't open up."

Liam gasps from surprise, because _ what? _

"Why?" - He manages to ask.

"I don't know." - Harry shrugs, and he looks at Liam with lost eyes. "I-I felt weird, listening to him talk about doing drugs and messing them up with his pills. I don't know, okay? Plus, I saw Niall near my house talking to him and then he left. He stopped trying to get in."

"Niall?" - Liam asks confused. "I am proper confused, mate. What the hell does Niall have to do with anything?"

Harry shrugs and opens his mouth to say something, but his eyes catch something behind Liam's eyes and they grow wide instantly.

"Shit." - He breathes and covers his mouth with a hand. Liam's brows furrow and he glances back to whatever got this reaction out of Harry. The books fall down from his hands, the sound of crash echoing through the hallway.

Zayn stumbles through the crowd of students, laughing hysterically at someone's lame joke. His hair falls down his flushed face, reddened eyes look glassy while his whole body trembles from the uncontrollable laughter escaping his chest. Someone shoves him to the side and his back meets the metallic lockers with a loud bang. Zayn laughs even harder, sliding down and dropping to the ground.

Liam doesn't bother to pick his books up or spare a glance at Harry before he bolts towards the boy, pushing everyone out of his way. His blood boils from the ignorance and arrogance of everyone around them, but at the same time feels relived that no one dares to approach Zayn in this state, because he knows it wouldn't end well. He drops to the ground on his knees right in front of Zayn, who is still laughing like a maniac. 

"Zayn!" - He calls the boys name and cups his face to make him look at him. His dilated pupils and bloodshot eyes don't leave a piece of doubt in Liam's mind. He looks back at Harry with a raging fury, but his parted lips and wide eyes show that he knows nothing about this. 

"Leeyum!" - Zayn chokes on his own laughter and runs a hand through his messed up hair. "I've missed you! Everything feels-God, my skin is on fire! Unbelievable, can you feel it?!"

Zayn's shaking fingers tangle with Liam's cold ones and the boy squeezes them like his life depends on it.

"Look, I-It's like I'm burning up. I've never felt like this. The walls are turning around, I was walking on the ceiling back there! Can you imagine?!" - The boy laughs, earning a few confused and shocked stares from the people around.

"Zayn, what the fuck did you take?" - Liam rushes, his voice choked and quiet, but loud enough for Zayn to hear.

Zayn shakes his head, still grinning, and tries to get up on his feet.

"Come on, I'll show you!" 

"Zayn,-"

"God, it feels so good." - Zayn whispers as he leans back at the lockers and stares right into Liam's eyes. "Babe, it feels so beautiful."

"Where did you get the drugs from?" - Liam ignores the boy's mumbling. He grips Zayn's shoulder harder than he planned to, because Zayn winces suddenly and tries to pull away from him. "Answer me, where did you get them?!"

"Louis." - Zayn shrugged, his face breaking in the dreamy grin. "Bastard wanted to snort the line this early. Didn't let him, took his _ and _ my doses, saved him like a proper hero. And now I feel amazing, Liam."

Liam can see the way his hands would curl around Louis Tomlinson's bare neck while he would strangle him to death. 

"Okay." - Liam nods once. He wraps a hand around Zayn's shoulders and brings him closer to his chest. "Let's get you home."

"No, no, what?! Home? Fuck home, Li." - Zayn shakes his head and tries to pull away, but Liam only holds him closer. "Everybody stares at me at home, they try to-try to crawl under my skin. And my mom, she-she gives me this looks. Fuck it. Fuck home. Let's have some fun."

"Zayn, it's 9 a.m. for fuck's sake!" - Liam yells suddenly, surprising himself in the first place. Zayn flinches, his smile dropping from his face instantly. He breathes heavily while looking at Liam with wide eyes. His eyes dart to side and he notices Harry, standing a few meters away from them. 

"You asshole. You didn't open the door." - He cracks while staring at Harry. The curly boy sighs and looks away from Zayn, whose face twists from hurt. "You left me there, bawling and begging. I wanted to fucking kill myself, you fucking bastard!"

Zayn manages to pull away from Liam's chest and pushes towards Harry, only for Liam to grab him from the back. He tries to reach Harry with his hands, but Liam drags him back from the boy.

"You left me there!" - He yells, while tears form in his raging eyes. "Like I was some fuckin' pathetic piece of shit! I begged you to open the door!"

Liam pushes him into the lockers and puts his hands on both sides, blocking Zayn from moving away. _ Thanks God teachers and principal don't care bout kids' screams in this school. _

"I swear to God, If you don't stop I will knock you out." - Liam growls, his voice going low and intimidating for a moment. "I will drag you to the first rehab I manage to find in the nearest states, then call your mom and tell her everything about you not staying clean and giving them my fucking piss for check-ups. Do you understand me?"

Zayn trembles as he stares at Liam with scared, frightened eyes. He doesn't say a word, so Liam hits the lockers behind him and leans closer to the boy.

"I asked: do you understand me?"

"Y-Yes." - Zayn stutters. 

"Good." - Liam nods. He slips a hand around Zayn's waist and drags him forward. "Now, I am going to take you home and _ you _ are going to sleep this off. Am I being clear?"

Zayn nods while he lets himself be dragged after Liam. They pass Harry, who stares at them with shocked expression, but he doesn't utter a word. Liam ignores everyone's looks around them and heads straight towards the entrance. He leads Zayn out of the school, into the parking lot and pulls him to lean on his car while he searches for the keys.

Zayn stares ahead, previous euphoria now long gone from his system. Liam knows he is being too harsh with the boy, but he has seen too much of Zayn's highs not to act on them. He fishes the keys out of his pocket and stands in front of Zayn, but the boy doesn't look at him. Instead, he continues staring ahead like a statue. Liam sighs and brings his hands up to cup Zayn's face. 

"Zayn." - He whispers quietly. Zayn blinks, still not looking at the boy in front of him. "Don't you dare to punish me with your silence. I don't fucking deserve this."

Zayn finally tears his gaze off of the spot behind Liam's back and looks at him. His lips tremble from emotions and tears that choke him, but he professionally ignores them. 

"If we all got what we deserve - I'd be laying six feet underneath the ground with at least dozen bullets and blades twisted into my skull." - He breathes. It sends needles through Liam's heart and he wants nothing but to embrace the boy and protect him from everything around them.

"To be clean and happy. That's what you deserve, Zayn." - He whispers.

"No. That is what you want for me." - The boy says emotionlessly. He closes his eyes and sighs shakily. 

"Let's get you home, yeah?" - Liam offers. 

"If you threaten me with a rehab or anything like that ever again - that will be the last time you'll ever see me." - Zayn replies quietly with a cold voice. "I promise you that."

Liam swallows hardly and nods. _ Fair enough. _

"I don't care, Zayn. If it saves you - then I don't care about you hating me."

Zayn huffs humorlessly and looks away.

"Saves me." - He chuckles. "You're a selfish dick, you want me to be okay so you can finally stop worrying. Don't fool yourself, Liam. You think of me as of your responsibility, but that's some bullshit. You don't owe me anything. And I don't owe you a shit as well. You care because you're scared that your consciousness won't be clear if I die on your watch."

Liam puts his hands on Zayn's cheeks, holding him in place angrily and forcing him to look into his eyes.

"No, you stupid asshole. I care because I fucking love you."

For a second, his own heavy breathing is the only sound resonating in the air. Liam feels hot and cold at the same time as he stares at the way Zayn's eyes grow wide slowly. The boy looks at Liam and after a moment his face crumbles. His chin trembles uncontrollably and his doe eyes glisten with unshed tears as he curls his fingers around Liam's wrists.

"Fuck." - He heaves, loud sobs ripping his chest. "Fucking hell, Li."

Liam doesn't hesitate to finally lock the boy into his embrace and wrap his hands around his slim body. Zayn shakes from cries as he buries himself deeper into Liam's chest, and Liam ignores the tear stains on his hoodie. He places a kiss on top of Zayn's head and inhales his smell.

"I won't let you destroy yourself." - He whispers into his hair. "I will fight for you till the end, Zayn. I don't give up on people I love."

Zayn sobs into his chest, and the cold wind wraps around both of them, sending shivers down their spines, reminding a very simple, yet important thing - _ they are alive. _ And maybe, sometimes it's all that matters. Sometimes it's enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please ignore the mistakes, i will check them later i promise u


	6. Z

** 15:46 p.m.  
Paynes' household. **

_"...You can't seriously blame me for every dumb thing that he does. That's just unfair and you fucking know it."_

_"Unfair?! Louis, He nearly overdosed in the middle the day, right in the school hallway because he snorted your coke!"_

_"He wasn't supposed to! It was my dose!"_

_"You're so fucking reckless, you know it's your fault-" _

"Please, shut up." - Zayn tries to block the muffled voices by pulling the pillow over his head. The soft bed underneath him dips as he shuffles and turns to his side. His head is throbbing, his eyes burn and he can't feel his tongue. His body lacks the needed endorphins and he lost too many of those this morning. He doesn't have a nerve to listen to an annoying dialogue that is happening near him. Not now. Not ever.

"Zayn." - Liam's voice breaks into his sleepy haze. Fingers run through his hair. Unconsciously, Zayn melts under the touch and lets out a quiet sigh. "How are you feeling?"

"Dead." - Zayn mumbles. "My head is-Fuck, everything hurts."

"It serves you right." - Raspy voice snaps at him. Zayn unglues his eyes and looks up at the figure standing in front of the bed with arms crossed on the chest. Louis Tomlinson always manages to somehow look tiny and intimidating at the same time. Right now he is glaring at Zayn with his piercing blue eyes and Zayn wishes he could dissolve and stop existing. "Snorting that much of coke all at once. _ My _ coke!"

"Liam." - Zayn whines quietly.

"Yeah?" - Liam asks concerned, bringing his face close to Zayn to hear his quiet voice.

"Please, get him out of here." 

Zayn closes his eyes and tries to calm his throbbing head. He feels Liam's weight leaving the bed and after moments of cursing, pushing and one high-pitched yell Louis gets thrown out of the room. Zayn thanks Heavens for sending him Liam Payne. 

The boy returns to Zayn's side, kneeling in front of him and staring down.

"Did I cause too much trouble?" - Zayn dares to ask.

"It's okay." - Liam shakes his head. "We'll deal with it later. Right now - you need to eat. Come on, get up."

"No." - Zayn whines. "Don't wanna leave the bed. Too comfy."

Liam chuckles at this and shakes his head.

"What if i promise you to lend one of my hoodies?"

Zayn peaks through one eye.

* * * 

** 16:29 p.m.  
Mcdonald's. **

"This is too much, Liam. I won't be able to eat this much food." - Zayn blinks down at the table full of fast-food. 

"You will try, though." - Liam smiles at him. "You need some energy, yeah?"

"But,-"

"Zayn." - Liam sighs and it manages to shut Zayn up. 

He scowls, but obeys the boy and starts eating. He hates this. He hates being controlled, hates feeling so useless and helpless. He hates that he worries Liam with every step he takes. He hates that Liam has to force-feed him like a baby. He hates this and he hates that and he hates himself. That's what he hates the most. Zayn Malik hates Zayn Malik more than anything else in the world.

"I've talked to Harry." - Liam says and bites down the burger. Zayn rises his eyebrow from surprise.

"And?"

"He said you didn't buy any drugs from him last night. Said you left empty-handed."

"I did." - Zayn nods. "Like I've said - fucker didn't open up."

"And Louis said the drugs were his - not yours."

"Liam, what is this?" - Zayn finally asks. "You've brought me here to interrogate the shit out of me? What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me why you snorted the dose of coke for two people early in the morning in the middle of your own school." - Liam says calmly. 

"Does that even matter?" - Zayn snaps. "I'm a junkie - I decided I wanted to get high, so I did. Leave it as it is, for fuck's sake."

"No." - Liam growls. Zayn flinches when the boy leans forward, but then Liam puts a hand over Zayn's trembling one and every rage in Zayn's body calms instantly. Damn Liam Payne and the effect he has on Zayn. "I won't leave it until you tell me the truth. And you are not a junkie."

Zayn swallows hardly and dares to look into Liam's eyes. He is met with nothing but concern and softness.

"I didn't want Louis to get hight. Not-Not like that." - He whispers and shrugs. "So I took his drugs. I got high so that he couldn't."

Liam stares at him with unreadable eyes and Zayn (once again) wants to disappear. He regrets telling the truth, he knows it will show how weak he is and how much he cares about everything. Zayn can't let anyone know that he's weak. 

Liam's finger traces the edge of his jaw softly, and Zayn flinches slightly from surprise. He opens his mouth to defend himself, say that he is not weak but Liam cuts him off.

"You've drowned yourself while trying to save someone else." - Liam says with his low voice that sends shivers down Zayn's spine. "And not for the first time."

"I-"

"Don't." - Liam shakes his head, not letting Zayn protest. "I know you. No matter how much you try to hide behind the drugs or other stuff - I know you Zayn Malik."

"Did you mean it?" - Zayn blurts. He can't contain it anymore. He has to know if Liam meant what he said. He has to be sure he didn't dream of it.

Liam smiles softly and nods once, still not breaking an eye-contact with Zayn.

"Of course." - He says. 

"Why?" - Zayn asks quietly. He has to know. He doesn't deserve Liam's pure love, he has to know why the boy feels this way. He has to know because that maybe the only thread he might hang onto. Liam shifts closer and cups his face between his big, warm hands. He places a small kiss on top of Zayn's head and buries his nose into his hair.

"Because how can I not love you?" - He mumbles. Zayn tries not to choke on his own emotions. _ No, no, Liam can't love him. He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve anything. _

"I'm sorry." - He whispers shakily and pulls away from Liam's touch. He misses it already, but ignores the sting in his chest. 

"Zayn,-"

"I-I don't think you realize how fucked up that is." - He huffs a humorless laugh and gets up from his seat. "You can't love someone who doesn't give you _ anything _ to love. I am not capable of giving or receiving any kind of emotion or feeling. All I can feel is shit that has been piled up all over me and I can't-I won't put it on someone else. Not on you, never on you."

"Zayn, you don't understand it." - Liam argues as he gets up from his chair as well and follows Zayn, who tries to fucking hard to just get out of this suffocating place. "I don't need anything from you. I'm not asking you to do or give anything-"

"Liam, I'm a drug addict!" - Zayn swirls around and shouts suddenly. He place goes silent for a moment, heads snap at their directions but Zayn ignores them. He calms himself and lowers his voice. "I'm a fucking addict and I don't plan on changing it. I'm a failed attempt of a rehabilitation, I am a failure. You can't love and be with someone who would sell you in _ seconds _ for a few grams of cocaine."

"You wouldn't." - Liam shakes his head, trying to defend Zayn from his own opinions. Zayn feels pathetic. "You're not a failure. Failures don't help other people, they don't care about their friends getting high. They don't try to save them."

Zayn barges out of the Mcdonald's and the cold air hits his face instantly. He wraps arms around himself, snuggling into Liam's hoodie as he walks away from the place. Liam doesn't stop following him, even after they leave the parking lot and Liam's car behind.

"Stop trying." - Zayn shakes his head when Liam finally catches up with him and jogs beside him. "Nothing will happen or change, Liam. Go home, please."

"No, you stop!" - Liam steps in front of Zayn and causes him to stop walking. Zayn tries to push past the boy, but Liam is too strong for him. "Look at me, Zayn."

"No." - Zayn says dumbly and stares down at his feet.

"Zee,-"

_ "Yo, Malik!" _

Zayn rolls his eyes at the sound of familiar annoying voice. Liam's gaze darkens as he spots the figure in front of them. Zayn looks over Liam's shoulder and is met with stupid, arrogant smirk.

"Fucking hell." - He breathes as the boy approaches the two of them. "How can I help you, Abel?"

Meet Abel Tesfaye, or, as everyone calls him - Weeknd. You might have thought that Harry Styles with his stuff should be enough for one shitty town and its' drug-addicts. Well, you'd be wrong. Abel is more of a _ "low quality, low price" _ guy in that scene. His product might give you some kind of euphoria. Or it might kill you. But it's cheaper than Harry's stuff, so a lot of people prefer to pay lower price and play the russian roulette. Zayn has tried his product a few times. Funnily enough, he didn't overdose on Abel's shitty stuff. He overdosed on Harry's HQ coke. _ What an irony. _

While you couldn't really call Harry Styles the typical drug-dealer, Abel fitted into that role perfectly - unknown background, ties with police, a huge gang behind his back and a lot, a lot of money. 

What would Abel Tesfaye, the great Weeknd, want from Zayn Malik? One thing and one thing only - his connections.

"You promised to hook me up with a party last week." - Weeknd snarls as he hooks an arm over Zayn's shoulders and leans on him. His eyes meet Liam's furious ones and his face breaks in grin. "What's up, man?"

"Fuck off, Abel." - Liam hisses. He takes one step and clutches the collar of the boy's shirt and drags him away from Zayn.

"Woah, woah, calm down, Hulk!" - Abel lifts his arms in defense when Liam pushes him out of the way. "I didn't come to fight, did I?"

"What did you come for, then?" - Zayn asks calmly.

"I came for what you've promised me." - Weeknd narrows his eyes at Zayn dangerously. "You owe for dealing with your anonymous meetings papers. I've connected with a lot of people to do that, Malik."

Oh, right. Zayn almost forgot to mention one important thing : when he overdosed and got prescribed to go to anonymous meetings - Abel dealt with that problem. He made someone he knew fill out the forms for Zayn, so he could show it to his doctor and family. _ Fuck. _

"I won't bring you with your shitty product to the parties that I go to." - Zayn sighs. "You stuff has _ killed _ people."

"So has Styles' stuff." - Weeknd shrugs.

"No, it hasn't."

"Well, it _ did _ kill you." - The boy laughs. He brings two fingers to his temple and lets out a quiet "poof" sound. That's when something snaps and Liam charges forward with a low growl, but Zayn manages to catch his arm and pull him back. 

"Just fuck off, Abel." - Zayn pleads. "I will try to hook you up with some shitty people downtown."

"You better." - Weeknd nods. "Or I'll have to pull some dirty strings."

"Yeah, yeah." - Zayn nods annoyed. "Get lost."

Abel smirks and takes a few steps to leave, but then turns around to add something else. Zayn isn't sure he can hold Liam for any longer.

"You know, I still don't get why you chose Gigi over Bella last summer." - He admits. Zayn cringes at the mention of his one-week-sex-thing with one of the sisters. "You realize I fucked _ the good Hadid, _ don't you?"

"Who says I like them good, Abel?" - Zayn asks calmly. Abel chuckles at this and shakes his head.

"One week, Malik. Or you're better off dead." 

He disappears around the corner and Zayn finally decides to release Liam's arm. He waits for the reaction, for whatever is about to come from Liam. He dares to look up at the boy, who is still staring at where Abel stood.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't." - Liam cuts him off. "You know, maybe you're right. Maybe my feelings are not appropriate for this time." 

Zayn's stomach drops and he looks down at his feet, trying not to look defeated and hopeless.

"But it doesn't mean I'm gonna give up on them. Or you." - Liam adds quietly. "We'll deal with your shit. Together. And then, maybe, we'll get a chance to fill the spaces between us with something else."

Zayn sighs with relief and closes his eyes to get a better grip on reality. Suddenly, Liam tangles his fingers into Zayn's hair and tugs him weakly to make him look up. He brings his closer, face inches away from Zayn and his hot breath hits Zayn's chilling skin. Liam's nose traces Zayn's cheekbones softly and it sends Zayn's mind spiraling. He sighs shakily and is about to lean closer when Liam pulls away. _ Zayn already misses his touch. _

Liam puts a hand on Zayn's small back.

"Let's go. You haven't finished your food."

_ Fuck. _ Maybe Zayn needs those feelings to burst into his life and open his mind up. _ Or maybe he simply needs Liam to open him up. _


	7. N

** 3:52 p.m.  
school soccer field **

"Have you heard about Tomlinson sucking Styles' dick in the school bathroom?"

"No way?! He's gay?!"

"Who? Tomlinson? Obviously."

"No, no. Styles? I had no idea. I was planning to lose my virginity to him on prom night."

Have you wondered, how far you eyes can roll into your head without snapping any muscles or nerves? Niall wishes he knew. The girls behind him continue to chat disappointed about Harry's sexual orientation while he sips from his cup of alcohol-free-beer. Seems like the only thing this school manages to control is the amount of alcohol in drinks poured in the field. 

_ "...Mendes has the ball. He goes head-first towards the middle of the field, leaving two opponents behind! He goes left, professionally avoiding.." _

"Okay, but what about that time he dated that blonde from the catholic school? Whatever her name was? Tall, blue eyes, annoying voice?"

"Yeah, apparently, that was fake! He was secretly meeting with some guy from football team at the same time."

"No way!"

Niall wants to throw his drink straight into the girl's head. He think he will, but then a weight falls on the seat beside him and snaps him out of his thought process. 

"Can't believe they're serving an alcohol-free beer." - Zayn mumbles. He huffs and wraps his arms around himself, trying to warm up. Seems like his thin leather jacket provides no protection from the cold. _ Shocker. _ "I'd kill for a smoke."

"And then Cowell would have to kill _you_." - Niall reminds him. "And since when do you care about sports?"

"Who said I do?" - Zayn asks confused.

"The fuck you're doing here, then?"

But then Niall spots the familiar muscular silhouette dressed in the soccer uniform and his questions gets answered on its own. Not that Zayn was planning to answer him. Liam runs on the field like he owns it. Throwing and catching the ball professionally, even striking a few points for the team. Niall can't lie, he understands what Zayn sees in Liam. Behind that toned body hides the delicate soul that can be seen only through the boy's puppy-brown eyes. Liam is caring, sweet and loving - everything that Zayn desperately needs and craves. Maybe he is the only person who accepts Zayn as he is. Or, maybe Niall is overthinking. But, from the looks Zayn gives Liam - those scared but ones full of trust - Niall can't say he is too wrong.

"He's good." - He comments after several minutes of watching. Zayn doesn't answer, but he knows the boy agrees. Liam is good, in every way. "Too kind for his own good."

Zayn huffs humorlessly at the words. 

"He's too good for me is what you're trying to say." - He rasps with a smirk. Niall raises an eyebrow and stares at Zayn.

"No. He's simply too good. I just hope he's good enough for you to try."

"Try what?" 

"Try not to die?"

He sees the way Zayn's face falls in a second. His fingers tremble as he tries to hide them in the pocket of his jacket, but Niall notices them. He pats the boy's knee lightly and gets up from his seat. 

"Gonna go pour this shit into the toilet and get some real drinks. I've heard Weeknd has vodka stashed near the bleachers and hands it in a can of cola for six bucks. Wanna come?"

"Um, no." - Zayn straightens in his seat. "I'll stay. Not in a mood for drink."

Niall smirks and nods.

"Good. Thanks God."

He leaves Zayn to stare at his boy. The cup of alcohol-free-beer ends in the trash can and he walks out of the field, feeling somehow victorious. Damn Zayn Malik and his power to make you feel like a proper hero.

___

** 4:26 p.m.  
School bleachers. **

Niall drags his feet slowly towards the small group of people behind the bleachers. He fishes money from his pocket and hands it wordlessly to the boy to his left, while the tall boy beside hands him a can of fake coca-cola.

He leans on the wall with his back and sips from the can. He doesn't even try to control his muscles and stop his face from scrunching as the disgusting taste of raw vodka hits his mouth. Humans are really desperate, trying to drown their feelings and thoughts in _ this. _

"Horan! Nice to see you, blossoming my business." - Weeknd smirks as he notices Niall. He's sitting on the ground, few meters away from Niall with a small bag of money near his feet. He wiggles the stash of dollars at Niall as the arrogant smirk stays plastered on his face.

"It's not like I have a choice. Not many vodka-dealers on the school grounds." - Niall mumbles as he takes another sip of throat-burning liquid.

"Weeknd knows how to make good money on kids with addiction problems." - The other boy declares proudly. 

"Weeknd knows how to use people's problems and hand them trashy drugs." - Low voice hisses behind Niall's back. He turns around and is met with Harry's annoyed expression. Louis is by his side, obviously, smoking a cigarette.

"You're on the school territory." - Niall nods at the poisonous stick in Louis' long fingers.

"And you aren't?" - Louis asks without even glancing at him.

"Aren't you supposed to be on the game?" - He asks Harry. 

"Aren't you?" - Louis responds before Harry.

"Okay, you're getting annoying." - Niall snaps.

"Fuck off, Horan. Let the people have some good time. Speaking of, heard you're hosting a party this Saturday?" - Weeknd leans in. "Care to elaborate? I've got some good stuff to deal. Call me in and I'll let Malik off the hook."

"Zayn? The fuck are you talking about?" - Harry presses, but Niall knows it's better to ignore Harry than tug him in.

"Will it kill anyone?" - He asks calmly. He's heard a lot about Weeknd's drugs. He doesn't want his house to turn into the murder scene.

"Nah. Just some weed and E. No deaths if no ODs."

"Deal." - Niall reaches his hand and the other boy shakes it with no hesitation. 

"Nice to do business with you." - Weeknd smirks afterwards and goes back to counting his money.

"What does this prick have in common with Zayn?" - Harry asks Niall with his voice low.

"Leave it." - Niall shakes his head. He takes the last sip from his can and hands it to one of Weeknd's guys to hide away. "Let's go. The game will end soon and Cowell will notice we're not there."

"Fuck Cowell." - Louis hisses, but throws his cigarette to the ground and follows Niall along with Harry. 

___

** 12:24 a.m.  
Horan's household **

Laying on your bed and thinking about your life is not the most productive thing to do when you're a teenager and still have the power to turn your life around. But Niall still does it from time to time. He stares up at the white ceiling, blinking the blur of sleep away, his mother's dinner still swirling around in his stomach. Niall always thought he would find his purpose till the age of 18. He tried out in soccer team - failed. He tried to become an A-grade student - failed. Tried himself in science - utterly failed, nearly set the fire to the school. Arts - fail. Literature - fail. Fail. _Fail._

Niall grunts and rolls over to the side, hand dangling off from the edge of the bed. See, it's not even about his academics, or the college or his future. It's about his purpose, the way he has to craft through the forest of life. There is nothing he likes to do, nothing he enjoys. Strumming guitar here and there doesn't set the right direction for his life. It's weird, really. Everyone around him seems to be less hard-working and less productive but still, everyone has find their way. Everyone but Niall. And it seems a bit unfair, but he doesn't dare to complain. At least he is not addicted to anything. Maybe alcohol, but that's just his way of killing time in this rotting town. 

He nearly falls down from his bed when the window of his bedroom gets opened and someone jumps down onto the rug without warning. Niall bolts up from the bed with wide eyes, hands frantically moving around to find something and aim right into the head of-

"Malik?!"

Zayn runs a hand through his messy hair and gulps. Here he is, standing in the middle of Niall's bedroom, in all his grace, with his huge hoodie and shiny eyes. Niall huffs and steps aside to shut the window Zayn left opened. He turns around then to face the boy and crosses arms on his chest.

"The fuck?" - He asks more calmly than before. He might feel a bit embarrassed from his panic-induced hight-pitched scream from earlier.

"I need your help." - The boy whispers. Niall examines him from head to toes and notices a tiny bottle in the boy's trembling hand. _Nope._

"No." - Niall shakes his head sternly. "No, no way Zayn. You know I'm not gonna do it."

"Please." - Zayn begs, his hands clutching on Niall's folded arms. "Please, my mom can't find out. If she does I-I don't know what will happen to me. Please, Niall,-"

"No!" - He whisper-yells at Zayn. "And why-Why can't Liam piss for you again?!"

"He can't. I can't ask him to." - Zayn shakes his head. "Please, Niall. I-I've been clean for 4 days, but the chemicals still show up in the piss. I'll do anything, please."

Niall's eyes grow wide as Zayn crawls down to his knees and stares up at him with glassy eyes.

"Zayn, get up,-"

"Please." - Zayn chokes. "I know I'm the one who ruins my own life, but I really need your help to turn this thing around. I just need a chance to be better."

Niall stares at the boy. Something hits him. Maybe his purpose was never to become an athlete, musician, scientist or an academic. Maybe his purpose is here, right now. Maybe his fate is helping people around him, with whatever he can offer. Even if it's his fucking piss. He crouches to be on the same eye-level as Zayn and sighs.

'You've really been clean?"

"Yeah." - Zayn nods and sniffs. "For 4 days."

"Why?"

"You know." - Zayn shrugs a shoulder and glances up at him from underneath his long eyelashes. "For-To try."

"Try what?"

"Try to live?"

Niall chuckles. He grabs a bottle from Zayn's hands and stuffs it into his pocket.

"I"m gonna regret this."

"Maybe." - Zayn whispers. 

"Whatever. We're too young to live the life we don't regret." - Niall sighs. He straightens and helps Zayn up. "Please, never beg me on your knees. Actually, don't do that for anyone."

"I'm desperate." - The boy huffs. "I need a clean piss, everyone in my house is mad at me and I've got fucking Abel Tesfaye breathing down my neck. I owe him. Like, a lot."

"Yeah, I might have dealt with that for you."

Zayn's eyes snap up, confusion written all over them.

"You what?!"

"I've promised to hook him up with some crowd and he told me to let you off the hook."

Zayn continues staring up at him and Niall feels out of place. The boy's big, doe eyes framed with dark lashes swirl holes on him and he wants to disappear.

"You don't have to fight my fights." - Zayn says in a low voice. "I can do that on my own."

"Yeah, well, what's wrong with just a little help?" - Niall shrugs. "Plus, he promised a clean stuff. No deaths. Just some weed and ecstasy. it will be fine. And you'll finally get rid of him."

"Is that a pity-job?" - Zayn asks shakily.

"What? No, of course no. I just-Look. Everyone deserves a second chance, yeah? And maybe you had yours with the whole surviving death and stuff, but this is different. This is your chance to not feel shitty about yourself with your every move."

"You don't care about me. You're fulfilling your hero complex."

"Maybe." - Niall nods with no hesitation. "But it works out well for both of us."

Zayn doesn't say a word. Niall steps forward and puts a hand on the boy's thin shoulder.

"Maybe this is your moment, like in movies, when the whole life changes and all that bullshit. Maybe it's not. But at least I'll know I tried. And, maybe, you're not the only one who deserves a second chance. Maybe I do, too."

"I've already told you - it's in the past." - Zayn says, definitely knowing where Niall comes from.

See, Niall and Zayn go way back in the history. _ Somewhere two years ago, one night after a soccer match, they both ended up on the same party. As always, Niall was strolling around the rooms, examining the house when he stumbled upon Zayn's passed out form in one of the bedrooms. Then, suddenly, a long arm hooked around his neck and a pretty girl from cheerleading team asked if Niall wanted to have some fun in the next bedroom. Niall nodded and left Zayn, because of course he'd be fine. He was simply sleeping. In some random house. In stranger's bedroom. Alone._

_Niall had the best sex of his life that night. _

_Zayn woke up with three guys he has never seen leaving hickeys on his neck and chest. He ran out of the house with his clothes torn, tears smeared on his face and shoes missing. The next day, Niall approached him in school and asked if he made it home safe last night. Zayn showed him scratches on his arms and hickeys he didn't agree to wear. He added that he wasn't raped. He was simply used as a cute little toy and he talked about it like it was nothing. Like he deserved it. Liam never found out. Niall knows if he did - he would break Niall's spine and then find and probably kill those boys. Niall wouldn't blame him. _

So yeah, apparently, Niall needed a second chance as well.

"I know." - Niall nods. "But it still haunts me. Plus, Liam needs his second chance with you as well."

"Stop." - Zayn blushes furiously and it causes Niall to break in a grin. 

"We're all gonna be fine, Zayn." - He says. "Now I"m gonna go piss in this bottle and then you'll save your own life."

Niall has never felt so proud of his own decision to piss. But Zayn's grateful eyes woke that feeling in him, as they always do.


	8. -

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning. stay safe

** Flashback. The night it happened. **

_ Overdose _  
[noun]  
an excessive and dangerous dose of a drug.

No. Wrong.

The real meaning, hiding behind the simple two-syllable word goes like this:

It hits his head first. A tickling sensation crawls up his nostrils, slowly growing into a slight tingle and then - obvious burning. It raises upwards, directly into his brain and sends voltages of pain rushing through his whole body. Darkness covers his eyes, like a thick curtain. He can't see through the black dots spreading in front of his vision. He realizes he's swaying when the floor underneath his knees moves sharply. His heartbeat was echoing from his eardrums, and he wanted it stop. He wanted the rapid, loud beating to stop.

And it did.

But only after his ribcage almost pushed out of his skin from the unbearable ache in his chest. He can't breathe. He gulps, and gulps, and gulps and gets nothing but empty air flowing in his throat. His skin is burning, he must be on fire for sure. His fingers grip on his hair, tugging the roots as he tries to look up at the ceiling and see anything, at least a tiny glimpse of artificial white light coming from the lightbulbs. He doesn't see anything. He remembers his last thought before his body met the cold bathroom tiles. _ Fuck. _ the only thing he managed to think. He falls with a loud thud and everything stops.

The noise is what makes Safaa open the bathroom door with her brows knitted together. She sees the powdered sink first. She doesn't know what that powder is, how could she? She is only 13. She looks down and sees her brother, with blood tickling down his nose, face pale and eyes shut.

She screams. The brain-piercing shriek is what brings her little sisters into the hallway, followed by their mother. The woman pushes stunned Safaa and Donya out of her way and chokes on a breath as she sees her only son on the cold floor. 

"Mommy." - Safaa sobs shakily. "Mommy, how-what happened?! What's wrong with him?!"

"Get out." - Tricia breathes, ignoring tear stains on her face. "Take your sisters to the living room and dial 911."

"Mom,-"

"Now!"

The door snaps behind them and Tricia falls down on her knees beside Zayn, hysterically running hands over his unmoving body.

"Baby?!" - She screams. Her fingers find the spot on his neck, where the pulse is supposed to be. _ It's not there. _ "Oh, God. Baby, sunshine, no, no!"

She does CPR for minutes that last eternity, until the ambulance comes and revives her son. Her Zayn, who's been dead for more than 6 minutes. 

* * * 

Louis just wanted to spend a night at Zayn's. He simply wanted to stay over, maybe watch a movie, roll a joint or hit the line, walk to school together the next day and have a lunch together. That's why he came over in the first place.

He didn't ask to be met with an ambulance car and police officers. He didn't ask to see Tricia's pale face as she shakily talked to doctors, didn't ask to notice crying girls in the yard, hugging the life out of each-other.

He didn't ask to find out that his best friend died and came back to life. He didn't ask to spend the night crying hysterically and calling almost everyone in his contacts. 

He didn't ask to go though _ this. _

* * * 

Liam's over at Niall's when receives the call from Louis. 

It felt weird the second he looked down at his phone because:

1\. Why is Louis Tomlinson calling him?  
2\. Why is Louis Tomlinson calling him this late?  
3\. Why does he have Louis Tomlinson's number?

The answer of the third question flashes through his mind as the one-syllable name - _ Zayn. _ With the fear, that Zayn is also the answer of first two questions he taps the green button on the screen. And, well, he isn't wrong.

Louis' high-pitched voice is choked, as if the boy's lungs are lacking air in them. He mumbles sentences that Liam's brain doesn't comprehend after the words "overdosed" fucking ambulance", "dead". He doesn't register bolting up from the couch and running out of Niall's living room and then - out of the house. He hears confused voice calling after him, shouting that he's barefoot and in nothing but a thin shirt and it's a middle of fucking October night. 

Liam runs down three blocks until he realizes he has no idea where he's running to. He can't go to Zayn's, can't meet Tricia's eyes or see the state that his sister are in. but, more importantly - he can't go there and find out that Zayn's dead. Because, what then? What if finds out that Zayn is gone? What the fuck is he supposed to do then? 

He chokes on his own breaths, knees buckle underneath him and they almost meet the cold asphalt painfully when he hears the voice coming from his phone. He completely forgot about Louis still being on the line.

_"-hear me?! Don't do anything stupid! They've-He's okay, he's alive, yeah?" _

"Louis?" - Liam breaths through the phone, head pounding from pain and heaviness of the world.

_ "Oh, thanks God you're still here. He's alive, Liam" _ \- Louis rambles. 

"Whose stuff was it?" - He grits, ignoring images of Zayn's half-dead body flashing though his mind.

_"Why does it matter? He is okay, Liam."_ \- Louis stutters. 

"Louis." - Liam hisses and he can feel every vein in his body bloating from the rage and fury. Somehow, Louis senses it.

_"Harry's."_ \- Louis sighs defeated. _" But it doesn't-" _

Liam disconnects the call before Louis even tries to save Harry's dignity.

* * *

Harry's been waken up from the hysterical knocking on his door too many times to count. But something's different with this knock. He's sitting on his couch when he hears it. There's nothing behind it - no strangled voice begging him to open the door, to give or land anything, no cries or cussing. He frowns, but still decides to open that damned door.

And when he does - he gets everything from just a look on the face of a person standing behind it. Liam is all rage: red face, fisted hands and low, growling sound escaping his lips. He even notices that Liam isn't wearing shoes, or a jacket. And it's freezing out there. Harry rises his hands in defeat but Liam steps inside, hands flying up to Harry's shoulders and pins him to the wall. The door shuts loudly behind him and so does Harry's hope to survive Liam's fury.

"What-"

"It's your fault!" - Liam rages, fingers digging harshly into Harry's skin. Harry snaps his mouth shut and stares at Liam with wide eyes. "You're nothing but trouble! You-How much did you fucking give him?! _ How much?! _"

And Harry knows who Liam is talking about. He knows there's only one person who Liam cares about _ this _ much.

"As usual. Just-Just the same amount I always do. He paid and I-Why? What's going on?" - Harry chokes, barely breathing from Liam's grip on his arms.

"You ruin everything around you!" - Liam rages, shaking from anger and Harry is too scared to protest. "You've ruined everything and everyone around you!"

"What's going on?" - Harry asks in a small voice as the panic creeps into his chest. _ Why is Liam so furious? What happened? What did he do? Is Zayn okay? Where is Zayn? _

"You've killed him." - Liam growls lowly. _ Oh. _

Liam's strong grip is unable to hold and stop Harry from sliding down the wall. He gasps but nothing goes into his lungs. Nothing but an empty air and he doesn't know how to breathe. Harry chokes, staring up at Liam with eyes wide open and tears blurring his vision, because _ what?! _

"I-What?! No that's-how-what are you talking about?!" - He manages to choke, eyes begging Liam to explain what the fuck is talking about.

Liam glares down at him with eyes full of hate as he speaks.

"You don't even deserve to know this, but they've saved him. They-He's been dead for six minutes. Six minutes, Styles." - Liam hisses. _ "You've killed Zayn for six minutes._ I'd like to see you try living with this." 

Harry breathes out with a relief and he hides his face in palms. He weeps and sobs like a child, not even embarrassed of the sounds he makes. His chest aches so hard that he isn't sure if it's even worth trying to live. When he lifts his head - Liam is gone. The door of his house is open and so are the wounds in his heart.


	9. Z/L

** 11:36 p.m.  
Maliks' household **

He's been strolling in the streets for the past three hours and exhaustion finally kicks in the second Zayn opens the entrance door of his house. His legs feel numb from walking and running on the hard pavement without stopping and his muscles ache harshly. He had to busy himself to get his mind off cocaine, so he decided to take a walk, which grew into explore-trip of the shitty small town he's live his whole shitty small life. He registered he forgot his phone at home when it was already too late but maybe it was for the better, because he knew he wouldn't be able to call Harry. Harry and his drugs. Drugs. _ Drugs and his saving. _

No.

Nope.

Zayn shakes his head slightly and slowly makes his way up the stairs, towards his rooms. His knees shake and he hopes to won't collapse before reaching his bed.

_ "Where the hell were you?!" _\- The familiar voice hisses behind his back. Zayn freezes and turns around. His mother is standing near the stairs with her arms crossed on her chest. Her eyes are full of anger, fury even. Face twisted in frown in a way-too-familiar-way. Zayn closes his eyes and sighs because _ damn it, _ he knows what's about to happen. "Answer me, Zayn!"

"Out. I was out." - Zayn mumbles while pinching the bridge of his nose. His leans on the wall, his legs are buzzing from pain and he wishes he would simply disappear to avoid current situation.

"Out? You were _ out?! _" - Tricia stomps up the stairs and stands right in front of her son. Zayn avoids her glare, but she grabs his chin and forces him to look into her eyes. "You got high, didn't you?!"

"What? No!" - Zayn pulls away from her grip. "I took a walk, wanted to clear my head. That's it. I didn't fucking get high, alright?"

"Don't you dare to curse at me!" - Tricia hisses. "You've been gone for three hours and you left your phone here, making sure I wouldn't be able to find your whereabouts. You went out and got high!"

"I didn't get high!" - Zayn yells, throwing his hands up in the air from anger. "Leave me alone for fuck's sake!"

"Watch your language, I warn you!" - His mother shouts at him. She points a finger at him while her eyes literally dig holes on Zayn's face. "You disappear for hours, then come back looking like you've been run over by the bus and now you dare to talk back?! Do you know what you've put us through? Do you know what your sisters and I went through because of _ you _ ?!"

"Yes, I fucking know! There's no need to remind me of that every damn second!" - Zayn yells, as anger and sadness choke him pathetically. "I know I've put you all through hell, I know you wish I didn't exist, but I fucking do! I fucking exist and you have to let me breath and live my life without interrogating me every time I leave this house. These walls suffocate me, I need to get out once in a while!"

"How dare you?" - Tricia breathes shakily as tears fill up her angry eyes. "How dare you tell me I wish you didn't exist when I was the one who saved your life. I was the one who pressed on your chest and breathed into your mouth so you could live again. How dare you tell me that, when you know my world begins and ends with you?!"

"Well, maybe that's the problem!" - Zayn exclaims. "Maybe I'm not fit for that! Maybe you should worry about girls and not me, because they deserve it and I don't. Maybe that will make our lives easier."

His mother stares at Zayn for a moment. Zayn breathes heavily, trying to stop himself from getting into a full-blast panic attack. All he wanted was to get some rest, he didn't ask for this. He never asked for _ this. _ Tricia reaches into the pocket of her robe and pulls out a small container. She doesn't break an eye-contact with her son as she presses it into his shaking hands.

"You have 20 minutes to piss into this bottle and give it back to me." - She hisses. 

"Fuck off. There's no way I'm pissing into this again." - Zayn spits and tries to wiggle out of his mother's harsh grip. 

"20 minutes, Zayn. Don't try me." - She warns him before turning around and walking down the stairs. 

Zayn curses the world for everything. Then, he runs up to his room, shuts the door behind him, crawls out of the window and runs towards Niall Horan's house.

* * *   
** 4 days later.  
8:27 a.m.  
School. **

When Liam shuts his locker, he expects to see anyone behind his back. Anyone, except Zayn. Zayn, with his big, wide sparkling eyes that are full of sadness, fear and stubbornness, all at the same time. Zayn, with his raven soft hair falling down his eyes like dark waves of ocean. Zayn, with his unimaginably long eyelashes that frame his almond-shaped eyes. Zayn, with his thin silhouette hidden behind the familiar oversized hoodie. Zayn, small, beautiful, soft, _ Liam's _ Zayn.

"Hey." - Liam breathes. Zayn shuffles from one feet to another, holding heavy books close to his chest. "You okay?"

Zayn nods. He looks up at Liam with big eyes and Liam's heart swells.

"What's wrong?" - He asks softly and brushes a strand of hair away from Zayn's eyes.

"I-um, well, I've been sober for almost a week now." - Zayn whispers. "And I don't feel really well. I feel overwhelmed and just, weird. Can I walk and sit with you today? Is that okay?"

_ Jesus. _ Can Liam hug this boy and never let him go? Can he shield him from all the problems in the world? Please?

"Of course, Zayn." - He replies instead of kissing the hell out of Zayn. "I'm so proud of you, you know."

Zayn shrugs a shoulder in response.

"Whatever." - He says. "I realized you were right. About everything. And I-I want to try to be better, yeah"

"Yeah. Yeah, I get it." - Liam nods. "You'll be ok-"

Liam doesn't get to finish his sentence, because someone pushes Zayn out of his arms suddenly. The boy's back meets the lockers harshly as someone hovers over him. Liam tries to react, but two pairs of strong arms hold and pin him in place.

"Hey, pretty bitch." - Abel hisses. "Remember our little problem we've discussed?"

"Get off of him." - Liam growls, but Abel doesn't even stir. Instead, his grip on Zayn's arms only grows stronger and Zayn lets out a pained yelp.

"Where's the crowd you promised to hook me up with, Malik?!" - Abel asks.

"Seriously, pushing people into lockers and hissing at them? What is this, 2008?" - Zayn sighs. 

"Answer me!" - The other boy shouts and grabs Zayn's chin harshly. 

"Thought Nialler's party two days ago broke our deal." - Zayn says. "He said-"

"Irish bastard had a lame party, I've managed to sell only half of my product." - Abel presses. "So, I repeat - where is my crowd?!"

"Abel." - Liam sees red as he growls, giving the last warning to the boy in front of him. 

Weeknd glances at him and, for a second, his face breaks into the startled expression, before melting back into hateful one. Zayn stares up at him and smirks smugly.

"Go on, Abel. Hit me and see what happens. Hurt me, so he can finally _kill you. _"

Weeknd swallows hardly, eyes still glued at Zayn. After a moment of hesitating, he pushes Zayn one last time before stumbling away from the boy.

"You're a dead body, Malik. Mark my words!" - He shouts before walking away down the hall. The grip on Liam's shoulders releases only after Abel disappears behind the corner. 

He doesn't bother to turn around and break the noses of whoever was holding him. Instead, he bolts towards Zayn, who raises his hand up to indicate that he is okay.

" 'M fine." - He mumbles before running fingers over his jaw, where Abel's fingers were pressing into his skin. "Fucking asshole."

"I'll kill him." - Liam growls as his whole body trembles from nerves and fury. 

"No, you won't." - Zayn mumbles. "I need you here, not in jail. You're not gonna hurt him, okay? Promise me."

"But,-"

"Promise me." - Zayn presses.

Liam sighs and his shoulders slump in defeat.

"Fine." - He whispers. "But if he touches you again-"

"I know, I know. You'll break his spine and feed him to dogs." - Zayn rolls his eyes. "Let's just get to class."

And fucking yes. That is exactly what Liam will do if anyone lays a finger on his Zayn ever again.


	10. L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a lil filler. Ignore the mistakes plz

** 11:17 p.m.  
Horan’s household. **

[His ears will never get used to the loud music. ](https://youtu.be/xdE3VppVPXc) His eyes will never get used to the neon lights and his nose will never get used to the sweet smell that fills up every party he steps his foot into. He had no idea how does Niall Horan manage to host parties every weekend. Where does he get all the money? Don’t his parents mind their son blasting his head off and drinking every week? Or dozens of teenagers getting high on illegal substances in their house?

Liam decides it’s none of his business. He pushes through the crowd of sweaty, high and drunk people while looking around, trying to find at least one familiar face. And he does. He spots Louis Tomlinson sipping his drink in the corner beside the bar. He’s wearing Gucci tracksuits and Liam doesn’t understand why none of his classmates have made it on the Vogue cover yet. He approaches Louis, not without pushing a few people out of his way, and taps him on the shoulder. 

“Louis!” - he tries to shout over the loud music. Louis turns around with his eyebrow raised in confusion. “Hey!”

“Well,well,well. If it isn’t mr. _ I don’t enjoy loud parties _”. - Louis huffs. “To what do we owe a pleasure.”

“Fuck off, Louis. Have you seen Zayn?” - Liam asks, deciding against chatting with drunk Louis. He ignores the way Louis rolls his eyes at the mention of Zayn. He knows he must seem desperate for everyone around. Always looking for Zayn, trying to make him feel good. Liam wishes he could give a single fuck about what anyone thinks about him, but he doesn’t.

“Oh, you little knight in the armor.” - Louis sighs. “The last time I saw him was by the pool - talking with Hazza.”

_ Shit. _ Harry never brings anything but trouble these days. With Zayn trying to stay somehow sober - it is not a good idea to hang around Harry. A snap of fingers snap him out of his trance.

“Oi!” - Louis barks. “Sod off, Payne. Leave me and my margarita be.”

Liam flips Louis off before stomping towards the glass back door. He crawls through the crowd, bumping a few times into strangers’ shoulders. He even spots Niall dancing his head off with some blonde girl and hopes it’s not someone else’s sister this time. When he steps out of the house and a soothing breeze hits his face - Liam finally breathes out. His eyes roam around the backyard and the pool looking for Zayn. Instead, he finds Abel leaning on the wall with a cold smirk on his face. 

“Your boy did a good job by giving me a call and inviting me here!” - he yells over the music and crowd’s shouts. “He is free from the debt, for now.“

Liam rolls his eyes and turns his back at the boy, ignoring his arrogant laugh. Well, at least that’s settled and Zayn no longer owes anything to the biggest dickhead of the town. But where the fuck is he? Concern is starting to eat him alive with every step he takes around the backyard. The music gets suffocatingly loud and he wishes he could just turn everything and everyone off and shout Zayn’s name. He considers doing exactly that, but then his eyes find a familiar mop of curly hair and dimpled smile. 

Harry is clutching a bottle of beer in his hands while chatting with his sister. Liam doesn’t hesitate to near him and clutching the boy’s shoulder. Harry’s smile drops as the strong grip lands on his arm.

“What the-“

“Where is he?” - Liam asks him. 

“Payno! Grumpy as always!”- Harry laughs. “Looking for Zaynie?”

“Cut the bullshit, Harry.” - Liam growls. “I know you were hanging around him. Where is he?”

“Look, why don’t you relax a bit?” - Harry slurs and throws an arm around Liam’s shoulders. “Here, drink some ooze or-“

“Just tell him where the guy is, Harry!” - Gemma snaps. Harry rises an eyebrow at her and drops his hand. He clears his throat and glances at Liam.

“He was here a few minutes ago.” - he mumbles In almost inaudible whisper. His brows knit together suddenly as he stares at some girl behind Liam’s back. “There he is! Beside the pool. He might fall if he doesn’t-“

Harry’s words get cut off by a loud splash. His eyes grow wide but before he can do or say anything, Liam turns around in the speed of light and notices the waves forming in the previously still pool. No one would get into the pool in the middle of the winter. 

Shit.

Liam bolts towards the pool, ignoring Harry’s calls. Thoughts fill up his racing mind, because _ Zayn can’t swim. Zayn might be too high to try and swim. Zayn might drown, Zayn might die. _

He jumps into the freezing water, cursing Niall Horan his rich parents for owning a fucking 10-meters-deep pool in the backyard. He dives deep underwater, trying to see through the chlorinated water. His hands roam around chaotically until he finally feels touching something. His fingers hook around thin wrist and Liam breaks the surface, inhaling the cold air with his frozen lungs. He blinks his eyes open, trying to get rid of the water dripping from his eyelashes. He cups Zayn’s face with his trembling hands and looks down at the boy.

“Zayn!” - He yells shakily while clutching on the boy’s head. He can’t see his face properly, and he prays to God Zayn can hear him. “Baby, hey!”

Zayn’s fingers hook around his arm and Liam finally manages to see the boy’s beautiful eyes blinking up at him.

“Liam, I’m fine.” - he breathes. “I’m okay, I’m fine, Liam.”

“But you-you fell and you were talking to Harry before, probably getting high and you can’t swim and I thought you-I thought-“

“Liam!” - Zayn’s call cuts him rambling off. The boy places a hand on Liam’s cheek while staring up at him with soft expression. “I didn’t fall. I jumped. And I’m not high, babe. Just drunk a little. But I’m not high. I’m okay.”

“You-“- Liam’s words die in his throat as he stares at the boy in front of him. Water is dripping from Zayn’s wet hair, tiny droplets sliding down his beautifully sculptured face and his plump lips have never looked so inviting before. “You bloody bastard, I almost had a heart-attack!”

Zayn opens mouth, to probably apologize, but Liam captures his lips in a hot kiss. He chases the taste of alcohol and cigarettes in the boy’s mouth with his tongue, earning a deep moan from Zayn and suddenly this pool is too hot and too small to contain him. His hands run up and get tangled in Zayn’s raven hair, tugging it slightly to get a better access to his mouth. Liam knows the kiss is probably too harsh, but he doesn’t care. He is angry and fucking aroused. 

He hears Harry’s whistle coming from somewhere behind his back and something that sounds like “ew” from Louis Tomlinson, but he couldn’t care less. Zayn is melting in his arms from the kiss and there is nothing in the world that could ruin this moment for him.


End file.
